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If Commitment Were a Sport, I’d Be Watching From the Sidelines. : Why Dating Feels So Hard in Your Late 20s – And How I’m Learning to Cope

Maybe My Soulmate Died in a Car Crash—Who Knows?

When I was a little girl, I used to believe that by the time I turned 25, I’d have it all figured out. I imagined myself married, maybe with a kid or two, living in a cozy home, building a life with someone who loved me deeply. Back then, 25 felt like this magical age where adulthood would somehow feel…complete.

But here I am, in my late 20s, single, and if I’m being honest—more confused about love and dating than I’ve ever been.

It’s not that I haven’t tried. I’ve gone on dates. I’ve downloaded the apps. I’ve kept an open heart. But somewhere along the way, dating has started to feel more like a draining task than an exciting adventure. The older I get, the harder it becomes to meet new people, let alone connect deeply with someone. And casual relationships? I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth for that anymore.

I’m in a place in my life where I don’t know what I want, maybe I crave something real—something that feels safe, supportive, and emotionally mature. But that seems increasingly rare. Most men around me—whether my age or older—aren’t really looking for that kind of connection. Some don’t want commitment. Some just want attention. And some are still healing from their pasts, unsure of what they’re even looking for.

Sometimes, it feels like everyone is either emotionally unavailable or not quite ready for the kind of love I want. And honestly? That can get lonely.

Why Is Dating So Hard Today?

Dating in today’s world feels like a completely different ballgame from what our parents or even older siblings experienced. There are so many layers to why things feel harder now—and it’s not just in my head.

According to a BBC article titled “Why it could be harder to find love nowadays,” researchers believe that finding and keeping love today is harder than ever before in human history. Why? Because we now have so many different ideas of what love and relationships should look like. Monogamy, polyamory, situationships, long-distance, friends with benefits, living together, living apart—the options are endless. And that variety, while freeing, can also make it really hard to find someone whose relationship goals align with yours.

But that’s just the beginning. Let me break down some of the other challenges that make modern dating feel so exhausting.

1. The Endless Scroll of Options

With dating apps, we’re constantly surrounded by new people—new profiles, new bios, new faces. In theory, that should make it easier to find love. But in reality, it often leads to decision fatigue and a fear of settling. You start to wonder, What if there’s someone better just one more swipe away?

I’ve experienced this firsthand. I’ll match with someone, we’ll talk for a few days, maybe even meet once—but then it fizzles out. Not because anything went wrong, but because it’s too easy to start over with someone new. We’ve become disposable to each other.

2. Changing Social Norms and Unrealistic Expectations

Social media has blurred the line between reality and fantasy. We see these perfect couples on Instagram—traveling the world, buying homes, getting engaged with fairy-tale proposals—and we can’t help but compare. We start to believe that anything less than that isn’t good enough.

At the same time, the societal rules around dating have become more fluid. While that’s a good thing in many ways, it can also lead to confusion. What does a “real” relationship even look like anymore? What’s the timeline? Who should initiate? Who pays? What does commitment mean?

Sometimes I find myself missing the simplicity of old-school love stories—where people met, fell in love, and figured things out together without overthinking every move.

3. Emotional Baggage and Fear of Vulnerability

Let’s be real—many of us are carrying emotional scars. Whether it’s from past heartbreaks, toxic relationships, abandonment, or even childhood trauma, these wounds don’t just disappear. They shape how we show up in relationships.

Personally, I’ve had to work through my own insecurities. There were times I questioned if I was too much or not enough. Times I closed myself off out of fear of being hurt again. And vulnerability? That’s still hard. Opening up to someone and not knowing if they’ll hold your heart with care—that takes courage.

But if we’re all afraid, if we’re all guarded, how do we ever really connect?

4. Mental Health and Dating Fatigue

Dating while dealing with anxiety, stress, or low self-esteem is like running a marathon with weights on your ankles. Sometimes I find myself swiping not because I want to meet someone, but because I feel supposed to be trying. And when dates don’t work out, I take it personally, even if I know I shouldn’t.

There’s a term called “dating burnout”—and I think many of us are quietly experiencing it. The constant cycle of hope and disappointment wears you down. After a while, it becomes easier to just stay single and protect your peace.

5. Technology vs. True Connection

Online dating can be great, but it often emphasizes looks over substance. We’re reduced to pictures and taglines, judged within seconds. I’ve had some great conversations online, but rarely do they translate into meaningful, in-person connection.

And then there’s ghosting—the silent epidemic of modern dating. One day you’re texting regularly, laughing at each other’s memes, maybe even planning a date—and then suddenly, nothing. No explanation. Just silence.

It’s disheartening. It makes you question your worth, even when logically you know it’s not about you.

So What Can We Do About It?

Even though I sometimes feel hopeless, I also know that giving up on love isn’t the answer. I still believe that real connection is possible—it just takes more intention, more patience, and a whole lot more self-awareness than it used to.

Here’s what I’m trying to focus on lately, and maybe it’ll help you too:

1. Be Clear on What You Want

Know your relationship goals and don’t compromise on your core values. If you want something serious, it’s okay to say so. Let people self-select out early.

2. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

Protect your energy. If someone is inconsistent, confusing, or not meeting your emotional needs—let them go.

3. Prioritize Your Well-Being

Dating is just one part of your life. Fill your days with things that bring you joy, help you grow, and remind you of your worth, with or without a partner.

4. Be Open, But Not Desperate

Stay open to love, but don’t chase it. Love that’s right for you won’t need to be forced or begged for.

5. Celebrate Your Singlehood

You’re not “behind” for being single. This season of life is still meaningful, still worthy of joy and celebration. Use it to deepen your relationship with yourself.

In Conclusion

Dating in your late 20s can feel like an emotional minefield—especially when you’re surrounded by people who don’t want the same things you do. It’s easy to feel disheartened, even cynical. But beneath all the chaos and confusion, I still believe in love. I still believe there’s someone out there who wants to grow, laugh, and build something real with me.

And until then? I’m learning to love myself better, trust my timing, and live a life that feels full and beautiful—partner or not.

To be honest, I hope I can actually take my own advice. Some days I feel like my case is too far gone 🤪. But hey, stranger things have happened—maybe the universe still has a plot twist for me (I hope it’s not the plot of You tho, because that will just be a criminal case 😂).

What about you? Have you felt these things too?

Let me know your thoughts—I’d love to hear your story below 👇🏻

May 5, 2025

Blog, Blog post, Blogger, Blogging, Couple, Couples, creative-writing, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1818, Dating, life, Lifestyle blog, love, Love Life, mental-health, Modern dating, news, Relation, Relationship, relationships, writing
The Fight for Feminism: Confronting the Rise of Misogyny and Pseudo-Feminism—and Why It’s a Threat to Women Everywhere

Why Feminism Is Still Necessary – A Personal Perspective

I come from a third-world country where patriarchy isn’t a vague idea—it’s something we live and breathe every day. Here, men are not just seen as providers or protectors; they are considered the natural-born leaders of society. They are handed authority and respect by default, while women are often expected to shrink themselves to fit into roles of servitude—obedient, quiet, nurturing, and accommodating. In such a world, feminism isn’t a luxury or a Western ideology—it’s a lifeline. It’s the demand for what should already be a given: equality.

A Childhood Framed by Subtle Contradictions

Growing up as the eldest of three children, I was lucky in many ways. My family welcomed me as the firstborn daughter with love and joy. My mother recalls how thrilled everyone was at my birth. Being a girl didn’t seem to matter—until it did. When my sister was born, the excitement persisted, but the unspoken desire for a boy began to linger in conversations and glances. Eight years later, my brother arrived, and suddenly, that unspoken wish was fulfilled.

Despite the subtle gender expectations that surrounded us, my parents made a conscious effort to raise us—my sister, my brother, and me—with the same values. We were taught to be strong, curious, and self-aware. We were given the same opportunities and encouraged to express ourselves freely. I am deeply grateful to my parents for focusing on education, personal growth, and individuality rather than conforming to societal norms. But the world outside our home wasn’t always so kind.

The World Beyond Our Doorstep

As soon as I stepped out into the wider world—into school, community functions, and family gatherings—I began to notice the difference in expectations. Relatives and neighbors would remind me to “act like a girl.” That meant dressing modestly, speaking softly, smiling more, and never questioning authority. I, being naturally outspoken and strong-willed, rarely complied. I questioned everything. I challenged adults. I stood my ground even when it made others uncomfortable.

Even now, I am told that I’m “too much”—too difficult, too opinionated, too stubborn. I’ve lost count of how many times someone has asked, “How will you ever find someone to marry you?” As if a woman’s worth is ultimately measured by her marital status or ability to bear children. Why is that still the default marker of success for women?

This, right here, is why feminism matters.

Why Feminism Is Still Necessary

Feminism remains crucial—especially in societies where gender-based inequality is still deeply rooted in everyday life. It’s not about man-hating or female superiority. It’s about fairness. It’s about creating a world where people of all genders have equal rights, opportunities, and freedoms. Feminism is a global movement grounded in justice.

Here’s why it still matters:

It combats sexism and oppression:

Feminism calls out harmful stereotypes, policies, and social norms that limit people based on gender.

It demands equal rights: In education, employment, healthcare, and politics, women and marginalized genders still face systemic disadvantages.

It empowers women and girls : Feminism provides the tools and language for women to own their power and live life on their terms.

It challenges rigid gender norms: Men, too, benefit when they’re freed from toxic expectations like emotional suppression or aggressive dominance.

It drives social progress: From voting rights to workplace protections, nearly every legal gain for women was born out of feminist advocacy.

It acknowledges intersectionality: Feminism recognizes that gender inequality doesn’t exist in a vacuum—it’s interconnected with racism, classism, ableism, and more.

Feminism is not a trend. It’s not a phase. It’s a necessary, ongoing struggle for dignity, safety, and opportunity.

The Rise of Online Misogyny

While progress has been made, feminism today faces new and deeply troubling challenges—especially in the digital age. According to a recent UN Women report, the rise of online misogyny is pushing harmful ideologies into mainstream discourse. The report, titled “Online ‘manosphere’ is moving misogyny to the mainstream,” warns that declining democratic values and unchecked online platforms are fueling a backlash against gender equality.

This backlash threatens the hard-won victories of past generations. Laws protecting women from domestic violence, workplace discrimination, and harassment are at risk of being undermined. The internet has become fertile ground for hate speech, misinformation, and harassment—often targeting women who dare to speak up.

The report also notes that in a quarter of countries surveyed, there is active resistance to gender equality. And while legal and policy reforms are still being pushed forward, the fragile foundation of progress makes it all too easy for rights to be rolled back.

The Problem with Pseudo-Feminism

As if these challenges weren’t enough, feminism is also being misrepresented from within—by pseudo-feminism.Pseudo-feminists adopt the language of feminism but twist its purpose. They may promote a one-sided narrative, ignore individual choice, or even express outright disdain for men. This distorted view shifts feminism from a movement for equality to one of superiority or exclusion.

Here’s how to tell the difference:

Feminism is about equality; pseudo-feminism is about dominance.

Feminism uplifts both women and men; pseudo-feminism often disregards or demonizes men.

Feminism acknowledges biological and psychological differences without using them to justify inequality; pseudo-feminism often denies these differences altogether.

Feminism invites collaboration; pseudo-feminism isolates and polarizes.

Feminism aims for fairness; pseudo-feminism can become a tool for control or self-interest.

This extremist mindset can easily slip into misandry—the hatred or prejudice against men—which is not and has never been a tenet of true feminism. Misandry undermines the very values feminism stands for: respect, justice, and unity.

Feminism vs. Misandry vs. Pseudo-Feminism

To clarify:

Feminism: Advocates for equal rights, dignity, and opportunity for all genders.

Misandry: Prejudice or hatred against men.

Pseudo-feminism: A distorted version of feminism that promotes bias or superiority rather than equality.

True feminism is about inclusion. It seeks to recognize and address the unique challenges that all people—men, women, and non-binary individuals—face due to outdated systems of power and inequality. It is not about flipping the scales, but about balancing them.

Let’s Stand Together

We need to end the illusion that feminism is a gender war. It’s not men versus women. It’s not tradition versus modernity. Feminism is a collective call for fairness, opportunity, and humanity. It’s a reminder that in 2025, girls are still being denied education, women are still being told to stay silent, and people of all genders are still being boxed into outdated roles.

As someone who has grown up straddling tradition and progress, I see more clearly than ever: feminism is still a necessity. It is not a Western import. It is not an attack on culture. It is a movement that says we all deserve a life of dignity—free from fear, judgment, and suppression.

So let’s keep questioning. Let’s keep growing. Let’s challenge what no longer serves us. And most of all, let’s support one another in building a more compassionate, just world—together.

Feminism needs all of us.

Tell me your thoughts below 👇🏻

April 30, 2025

Blog, Blog post, Blogger, Blogging, creative-writing, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1818, Feminism, gender, gender-equality, Lifestyle blog, Misogyny, news, politics, Pseudo feminism, women, writing
Girls Just Wanna Have Forts: Our Jaipur Madness in 3 Days

A Wholesome Chaos: My 3-Day Jaipur Trip with Friends.

The most chaotic I’ve ever been—this trip was pure madness, and honestly, there were a lot of “dumb and dumber” moments with me and the girls. 😭

First things first: none of us noticed that our return tickets were for the morning, not at night. We only realized it on the way to Jaipur after one of my friend’s dads pointed it out. The chaos that followed? Hilarious in hindsight.😂😂

Despite that rocky start, we managed to squeeze everything into three amazing days and saw everything we’d hoped to. There’s something so special about a first trip with friends—it’s messy, exciting, and filled with memories that stick forever. ,💕

I just came back from a 3-day trip to Jaipur with my gang, and honestly? It was everything I needed and more.

Day 1: The Not-So-Perfect Start (That Turned Around Pretty Fast)

We landed in Jaipur full of excitement… and got hit with indecision almost immediately. None of us could agree on where to go first, and to top it off, our hotel room wasn’t quite what we expected—smaller and not as comfy. But instead of sulking, we quickly turned the day around.

Our first stop? Chokhi Dhani—a dream if you want the full-on Rajasthani cultural experience. From the authentic food and live music to local games and performances, it was absolutely magical. We spent hours there, soaking it all in. Later in the evening, we grabbed dinner at a beautiful restaurant (I wish I remembered the name!) that surprised us with how pretty it was. Then, we called it a night… sort of.

Day 2: Temples, Museums, and Picture-Perfect Spots

The day started with hotel breakfast, which honestly wasn’t the best (still crying). But spirits were high, and our first stop was the peaceful Birla Mandir. It was such a calming way to start the day—quiet, serene, and grounding.

Then we headed to Albert Hall Museum. I love museums, and this one didn’t disappoint. Seeing all that art and history, and oh—a mummy?! That part was a little creepy, but also kind of fascinating.

We made a quick stop at Jal Mahal (just from the outside since it’s closed), and then went to Jantar Mantar. While the history was cool, it was just an open space with astronomical instruments—not too exciting for us. After that, we checked out a place called Mauj Mahal—it was okay, more fun because I was with my friends than anything else.

Next up: Hawa Mahal—a total highlight! Such a stunning building, and even though many of the windows were closed, we took so many pictures there. That night ended with another dinner out, followed by… well, not sleep.

Instead, we had a full-blown dance party, sang our hearts out, made goofy videos, and ended the night with face masks. Pure friendship magic. 🥹💜

Day 3: Temples, Climbing, and That Sunset

Another underwhelming breakfast, but we powered through. We started with a visit to Vaishno Devi and Hanuman Mandir—because why not? It felt good to include a spiritual element in our trip.

Then came the challenge of the day: Amber Fort. Instead of taking a cab, we decided to walk. Bad idea? Maybe. But it was Navratri, and a smaller route was open, so we climbed all the way up. It was exhausting, but the fort was stunning—probably one of the prettiest places I’ve ever seen. It’s so huge that I’m sure we didn’t even see half of it.

Our final stop: Nahargarh Fort. And wow. Watching the sunset from there was just… unreal. We tried to capture it on camera, but nothing compares to seeing it in person. That moment sealed the trip for me.

Some little tips for Future Travelers

1. Double-check your return tickets (lol) 🤣

2. Must-visit: Hawa Mahal at golden hour

3. Skip: Jantar Mantar if you’re not into astronomy.

Final Thoughts

This trip was everything I hoped for—beautiful places, chaotic moments, bonding with friends, and memories I’ll laugh about for years. We didn’t always know where we were going, and things didn’t always go to plan, but honestly? That’s what made it perfect.

Hi lovelies 💕

I have been so sick since I came back from my trip. All the tiredness of the trip have turned into sickness and now I have had fever, cold and cough since the last 2 weeks. 😭😭

I am feeling a lot better now, but I need a proper rest to be honest.

Anyways, if you’ve ever had a crazy friend trip—or want to plan one—drop your favorite memory or dream destination in the comments!👇🏻

April 24, 2025

Amber fort, Blog, Blog post, Blogger, Blogging, Chokidhani, creative-writing, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1818, Hawa Mahal, Jaipur, Jaipur tales, Jal Mahal, Lifestyle blog, Nahargarh, Travel, Travelling, writing
What topic do you like to discuss?

Daily writing prompt
What topics do you like to discuss?
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Hmmm….. politics.

I have so much to say about so many people and specially the condition of my country and politics as a whole.

It is a hell hole, people are dying, hate crimes, castism, religion based crimes, capitalism, crimes against women, children and animals, what not.

In the past few years I have seen the whole country go through so much worse than I have seen as a child. The more years are passing the more this country is becoming unlivable.

Everyone is blaming each other, people are divided. But not one finger is pointed towards the politicians who are running this country. And in all of the middle class and poor people are the only one suffering.

April 24, 2025

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When do you feel most productive?

Daily writing prompt
When do you feel most productive?
View all responses

Honestly, never!

Even if I am working my ass off for my job or writing, I just never feel like I am productive enough. I always feel like I can do more. Or I can do better. I don’t know, I just feel like I’m not doing enough. Not doing enough for myself, my career, I just feel so stuck and I don’t even know, if I am doing anything at all.

This just makes me feel so useless at times, inspite of the fact that I am working 9 hours a day for 5 days in a week as a corporate baddie, I still feel like I’m not doing anything at all.

Am I the only person who feel like this, or does everyone in their 20s feel like they aren’t doing much?

April 23, 2025

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